Thursday, January 31, 2019

My Last Post

Let's face it, it's been nearly a year since my last post. I think we can safely say that the novelty has definitely worn off.

I've reached middle-age and I'm comfy, happy and relaxed. Two cats live upstairs, I have easy to  manipulate HBs that surrounding me, I'm warm and fed (not enough), go on 'walkies' every day, rain or shine, and have excellent regular holidays in the countryside - life is good.

I have nothing to gripe about and am therefore signing out.

Thanks for staying loyal, all you Stanley fans. You can always check out more HB stuff on the other (not as good) website: 

Bye everyone.

Love, Stanley x

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Spring Collection

The ordeal that is becoming Spring Ready is over (Thank God).

The Spring Collection is now in.

All other dogs may now follow suit.

Monday, March 19, 2018

Bit Of Sun

At last - the chance to soak up some long awaiting rays of sunshine.


Bring on the Spring.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

A Nasty Scare

Last night I rummaged around in my toy basket. First I had a little chew with Squeakums, but now it's not squeaking anymore and has a hole in it I don't like it as much. I put that back and pulled out Headless Chicken.
I spent a bit of time tossing my head back and forth with Headless Chicken, but that soon got boring too. I needed something to chew at.
Back to the toy basket, more discarding of toys until at last I found a tiny bit of forgotten stuffed bone. Delicious. I must've buried it under all the toys for safe-keeping.
I spent quite a few happy minutes gnawing at the bone, then rolled onto my back to do my lovely legs in the air spasm move.
What you do if you want to try it at home is:
1. Lie flat on your back with all four legs in the air.
2. Chew at something in your mouth (the best thing is a fully functional squeakums - also known as mini kong balls available from all good pet shops)
3. Every two beats or so, bite down hard and at the same time straighten your legs up into the air.
4. Relax your jaw and your legs
5. Repeat
It's amazing. I like to do it right in the middle of the rug when all the HBs are staring at the TV. Mindless fools. They should get onto their backs and do leg spasms, much more fun.
I was mid-spasm when I bit down too hard and the the bone got stuck. Quickly knowing it wasn't right I flipped over to my front and tried to bite it out. It was wedged in there good and proper. I must admit I started to panic a bit and frantically scratched at it with my claws to get it out. Nothing. Jammed in tight.
It was horrible. Really uncomfortable, wedged right in the back there so I had to keep my jaw open. It took ages for the HBs to notice I was in trouble. I had to froth at the mouth and give them my rabid eye look. They tried all kinds of things to get it out. Fingers, pliers, even a screwdriver went in my mouth, but it was no good. That bone was stuck.
In the end Mum HB took me in the car to an emergency vets. It smelt funny in there, but the vet got it out no problem. I was so relieved that even when they stuck that thing up my bottom to take my temperature I only snapped once.
Moral of the story?
Only eat big bones.

Friday, February 2, 2018

Kitten Infiltration

We're not happy that the dog gets all the fun so we've decided to infiltrate the dog blog.

I'm Bibs - Hello

And I'm Socks

Mostly we like to run about, climb up things (like human legs), curl up together or with any human around, balance on things, explore, hide from one another then spring out suddenly, do meerkat impressions, mew at the dog through the glass door and eat, we love to eat.

Stanley: OMG, you kittens are on my blog, how totally exciting. It's fine for you join in, but I just have a couple of conditions. First you must let me lick you whenever I feel like it... second...

Kittens: Er, Stanley? Is that your name, dog? Well, I believe if you read the small print you will find that we will be turning into cats in the near future and under no circumstances whatsoever do cats except 'conditions' of any kind. You are a dog and will soon know your place.

Stanley: I have no idea what you're talking about, but I love you, I love you so much. Please can I lick you? Pleeeeaaaassseeee?

Kittens: There will be no licking, no barking, no whining, no jumping, no snapping at us. You must let us sleep in your bed, jump at you, eat your food and drink out of your water bowl. You must have no reaction at all.  Sign here please.

Stanley: Whine, heavy breathing, squeaky whine.

Kittens: This could take some time.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Beyond Excitement

I now know what kittens means - baby cats. OMG. We have two tiny cats in our house. It's beyond my wildest dreams.

They live upstairs and there is a gate between us but I have seen them and smelt them and heard them, they are definitely real. It is too unbelievable and yet it's true.

They are tiny and they move about and make this little meowing noise and I want to be their friend more than anything in the whole world.

The HBs don't seem to understand how much I love them and they keep holding onto me and not letting me rush over to lick them all over.

Kittens, kittens, kittens. Oh joy, oh happy happy joy joy. I feel like I could burst with excitement. I love them, really, really love them. Tiny, little cats. They're tiny and they're cats - tiny cats!

They smell amazing, like cats but sweeter. I have to lick them. I must lick them.

The first day I saw them Mummy HB took my tea up to the gate and I could see them right near me. There was my tea and there were the kittens. It was too much. I ended up inhaling a bit of my food. It took a while to snort it out. Kittens AND tea, what's a dog to do?

Friday, January 19, 2018

Something Is Definitely Going On

The HBs are acting a bit odd... again.

This time they seem really excited about something. There's quite a lot of high pitched squeaking coming out of them. Now and again they jump up and down clapping their hands together.

One word keeps coming up. I don't know what it means but I have a feeling my life is about to change very dramatically.

The word is...